I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
