I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just pee around me
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
