dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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