You're completely useless in the revolution.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
