I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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