I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
