At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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