i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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