Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
he laminated a picture of his dick.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
