porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize