direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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