i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I need a beard to bite.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
