saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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