We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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