Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
