Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
