Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
