o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
