I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
