If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
