I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
