Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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