He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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