I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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