do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I had to cum in my sink.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
