Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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