Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
