Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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