i just had sex bonerless
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
this is an emotional support booty call
my god I love twenty year old dicks
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize