playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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