you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
sarcasm needs its own font
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
