So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
