i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
