I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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