he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
