i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
