Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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