I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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