Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
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