question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
