God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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