started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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