I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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