You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
