All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
