I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
