Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
