I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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