You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
