I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
