yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
she told me i tasted like america
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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