Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
