dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I could fuck to npr.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
