does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
