About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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