On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize