Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
