talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
