He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize