i permit you to call me
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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